Sunday, SUNDAY, Sunday!!!!!!!

"Your life is an occasion, rise to it. "

I love it. And I'm rising! Just like the yummy hunk of pizza dough in my kitchen... I'm rising because this is my one shot -- to change, to grow, to learn, to be great, to make mistakes, to everything.

You have to love Sunday's. I certainly do. They usually mean a serious spinning class followed by a leisurely breakfast and heaps of coffee. Today it has been another sunny and glorious day and I've just finished my last cup of coffee (yeah, I might be up all night.....). I had all these great plans to mow and dig and water. Yeah, not so much. But I have done all the dishes and my laundry so I count myself ahead, for now at least. I suppose I should get out there and drag the hose out. Especially since it is supposed to be HOT tomorrow. Yeah like 76 degrees. So that's not really hot but I'm sure my garden would appreciate a little TLC.

I had forgotten what a pain it is to haul out the hoses for the front garden. Sigh. Someday, I'll win the lottery and will be able to afford a proper irrigation system. Someday. Of course, this summer, life is looking a bit bleak when it comes to money and home improvements. But, I'll make it through. I always do. And somehow, I'll figure out a way to sort it all out!!!

******************

Speaking of change and total randomness, Jenna over at Eat, Live, Run posted a pic of vegan nachos with this amazing looking queso sauce (this is the link to the recipe)made with nutritional yeast. Yeah, weird! But her yummy looking sauce and accompanying link inspired me to be brave and channel my inner veg. Alright, so I barely have an inner veg but in a commitment to eating healthier, I hauled myself to Vitamin Cottage in search of nutritional yeast. Turns out nutritional yeast is pretty darn amazing. A whopping 8g of protein per serving and heaps of B vitamins in the form of potassium. Now, I grew up in Vermont which is pretty much a dairy state and I love me some cheese (including the kind that comes in a can) so to say I was a little skeptical about this cheese sauce was an understatement. Boy was I impressed!!! I made the best nachos ever!!! I omitted the butter from this recipe with no problem. When cooked, it has the consistency of Velveeta and Rotel and tastes pretty similar to it. So if you are feeling a little adventurous, try it!!!

I also bought some spouted grain English muffins which are amazing, some almond butter and some muesli. Despite my general belief that the health food store costs more, I felt that Vitamin Cottage was quite reasonable and think I'll head there next time I need to stock up on random things the normal grocery doesn't carry.

And I was a good girl and brought my shopping bags with me!!!

Sigh, maybe there is hope for me after all........I still have a long way to rise!

Love yaz,
FGS

Friday thoughts....

Well the weekend is almost here! Thank goodness. What a week! But hey, I'm still standing!

I wanted to start the weekend with this thought:


Yes...I will try again tomorrow.

Have a good Friday my lovelies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FGS

I AM the Biggest Loser!!!

In sooooooooooooooooo many ways…

Right now, I am working on getting back to being the biggest loser when it comes to my weight. Managed to catch up to ye olde weight loss wagon, now I’m just figuring out the best way to haul my tuchus from the galloping horse I’m riding on over to said wagon. Not easy I tell you – especially since I think my horse is headed to Taco Bell……

Anyhooooo, life goes on. Tonight is my last session with PT. Sigh, another ending. But the perfect time to start a new beginning. Tomorrow morning before my crack of dawn workout, I’m going to measure myself again and track my progress aPT (after PT). I haven’t tracked my stats in forever. I’ve become a wee bit complacent and have been resting on my laurels and the fact that all my clothes fit. Good thing summer is almost here and I can go back to working out twice a day for a while to kick it into gear. 40lbs to go peeps, 40lbs to go! I always seem to hit this weight where I’m at and get stalled. I’ve been losing and gaining the same 5lbs for the last month. Good times I tell you, good times. Time to shake it up. Time to get back to those crazy morning swims and starting to take the dog for walks in the evening again. Time to remember what my goals are. Time to stop being so stuck in a rut….heck at this point, I feel like I am the rut. Rutty rut rut rutsky. So here I come, one Fat Grl, shaken not stirred…

In other interesting news, I’m a sushi addict. I’m just glad in my current financial state that I know how to roll my own. Raise your hand if you are sick of being broke!!!!!! But hey, as long as I have some sushi and enough coffee to keep me happily buzzed, this Fat Grl is a happy camper!

I'm glad it's almost Friday.....

FGS

Viva!!!

Alright, it is Sunday and I'm a spinning slacker. Shhhhh. Again, not a peep. I've made a deal with myself that if I don't spin (which I've already bailed on) that this house needs to be spotless and the yard needs to be mowed.

But first, a minor diversion!!!

Anne-Marie over at This Mama Cooks! put out a call for healthy Mexican recipes. Of course, since once upon a time, I used to live in Mexico, I have to represent! Especially since the American version of most Mexican foods is horribly fatty and not at all what it is like in Mexico. So here is my recipe for Sopa de Tortilla (sometimes called Sopa Azteca).

Sopa de Tortilla is perhaps one of the simplest soups to make with the longest list of ingredients. It is yummy and surprisingly light and is a great way to use up leftover chicken. Though there are a multitude of ways to 'fatten' this soup up, the version below (minus the garnishes) is quite points friendly.

Fat Grl's Sopa de Tortilla
2 pasilla chilies
2 ancho chilies
(note: both pasilla and ancho chilies can be purchased dried and reconstituted. Check your local supermarket in the Mexican food aisle. They are usually in a bag. You could also substitute with chipotle chilies en adobo (in a can) but don't go overboard because they have a very strong flavor)
1 can of diced, no-salt added tomatoes
1 white onion, sliced
4 cloves of garlic, chopped coarsely
1 Tbsp olive or corn oil
2 sprigs of epazote (a Mexican herb which can be replaced with cilantro)
2+ quarts of chicken broth (I usually make my stock using bouillon so I don't always measure precisely -- my rule of thumb, if the stock taste too strong, dilute a bit)

Reconstitute the chilies in hot water. When they are soft, remove stems and seeds. In a blender or food processor, blend chilies, onion, garlic, tomatoes and some of the epazote or cilantro. Blend until smooth, adding water as needed. You can strain this mixture if you prefer, but I find it to be an unnecessary added step. Strain if you prefer a clear, chunk free broth.

In a large stock pot, heat 1 Tbsp of oil. Add the mixture of chilies and cook until it has thickened. Add the chicken stock and epazote. Simmer for 25 minutes or until hot. Remove epazote prior to serving.

But wait, this is Sopa de Tortilla! Where's the tortillas? Patience, young grasshopper!

No Sopa de Tortilla is complete without the accoutrements! Warning, this list may seem long, but it is dang easy to assemble...

As the broth is simmering away, gather up the following:
limes, lots of limes! Cut into wedges
diced or shredded chicken breast (or whatever you have leftover)
cooking spray
12 corn tortillas (the small ones)
2 avocados, diced
1 cup of cheese -- traditionally this soup is served with panela cheese, I like queso fresco. (Recently both of these have started showing up in my local supermarket. A mild feta or a 2% cheddar would work too.)
Crema mexicana or it's healthier cousin, low-fat sour cream

Turn your oven broiler on high. Slice the tortillas into approximately 1/4 inch strips. Cover a cookie sheet in tin foil (easy clean up). Spray foil with cooking spray. Lay a single layer of tortillas on the cookie sheet then spray again with cooking spray. Broil until crispy, turning halfway through.

To serve:
Add diced chicken to a soup bowl. Ladle hot soup over the top. Top with avocado, cheese, crema and tortillas. Give a generous squeeze of lime.

Approximate points value of the broth is 0.
Point value of the garnishes and chicken just depends on what you add. You can easily keep the value between 6-8pts for a generous serving. Keep in mind, the broth is extremely flavorful and you will not need a lot of garnish (cheese and cream).

Enjoy!

A note about Fat Grl's cooking: I am not, NOT, a perfectionist. I add a little more of this, a little less of that. This is the bones -- change it how you like!

And that is my healthy Mexican recipe!

Have a great sunshiney day!

FGS

Green is Such a Pretty Color

So it's a gorgeous sunny day here in Denver. One that started off for me with eggs benedict at McCoy's (shh not a peep!) and a trip to the restaurant supply store. There was a major amount of drooling involved over the commercial ranges. My mission was to find a bread pan. Yeah because as you might have noticed, I'm becoming a cooking machine - or at least a hypothetical cooking machine. Today is my first foray into the world of French bread. And this weeks muffin du jour is whole wheat pumpkin cranberry walnut. Say that ten times fast! I'm also cooking a veggie lasagna and some kale and turkey sausage soup. No excuse to bail on good eating when it is all ready to go! And to touch on the green theme of this blog, while I'm not so sure that baking your own bread is cheaper in either energy use or ingredients, I think that knowing what goes into your food is also being green -- taking care of your body by not eating foods with crazy amounts of preservatives or salt or ingredients you can't pronounce is green to. At least in my book! And let's face it, homemade bread just plain old tastes better too!

This week has been much better than last in the old eating department. I kind of feel as if I'm going through another metamorphosis so to speak when it comes to my eating habits. There's eating your points any which way you choose, which I think was my modus operandi prior to now and then there's thoughtfully eating your points with food that is both good for you nutritious and points friendly. I'm slowly moving into this second phase. I bought flax today...and Fage Greek yogurt! I'm working on putting better quality food into me.

I finally seem to have gotten back on the wagon (couple of slips this week -- can you say SALT consumption!). This is my own journey though. And I no longer feel as if I need to lose all of the weight by tomorrow. This is a slow process -- who would have thought! And I'm okay with it being slow. Because I'm learning -- about me, about my body, about being healthy and having balance. I don't have to have anyone count out six tomatoes. I can eat what I want. It's my choice. I'm in control. And if I want that dang cake, I'm going to eat it. With ice cream. I'm the boss of me.

I'm just glad that these days the only sweet I usually crave is yummy dark chocolate in moderation....

So this girl, and her reusable shopping bags, are slowly going green. I'm buying in bulk, reducing my waste, eating healthier responsibly grown and produced foods, growing my own food and contemplating ways I can drive less. Next step -- recycling.

Off to soak up some of the lovely Denver sunshine!!! Got to love spring in the Rocky's! Almost 80 degrees and not a cloud in the sky...........

Keep it realz,
FGS

Impossible IS my favorite word, dammit!

Yesterday I took an unscheduled trip to Subway to get a $5 footlong (turkey and veg only!!! So it was 11 points – but I stayed OP!) and there was this lady there whining about her diet.  Okay, remember how I said whatever works for you?  Well, I still honestly believe that.  Yeah whatever works for you.  She kept going on about how she'd started her diet (Fit for life, was what she said) 3 days ago and just how miserable she was.  I just sat there contemplating which bread I was going to have with my turkey footlong veggie extravaganza.  She ordered a salad.  Nothing on it.  And made the poor girl count out exactly six slices of tomato and six slices of cucumber for it.  Bloody ridiculous!  Is there something magical about the number 6?  Some great power of weight loss that it possesses?  Sigh – whatever works.

Coming back from my trip to Subway (big honking turkey sub in hand), I pulled into the parking lot and just sat there and watched some of the fourth grade students run out to the playground for recess.  I got a wee bit nostalgic thinking about that feeling – you know, that free feeling, the one you got when you were a kid and finally allowed to play after sitting still for so long.  That feeling of excitement – where you can barely feel your feet touching the ground you are running so fast.  Then I tried to remember the last time I felt that way.  And I couldn't remember.  Maybe freedom feels differently when you are a grown up. 

Sigh, being a grown up sucks and I admit it: I'm one frustrated girl at the moment and I don't always like being a grownup.  Life has been a bit daunting lately.  Money woes, faraway boyfriend woes, job woes.  Woe is me… yeah I could believe that and sink into a pit of despair.  And I admit that some days I want to just that.  But then I think about what the future has in store for me, and all the things in the past I've overcome and I realize that sinking into a pit of despair just isn't an option any more.  "Make IMPOSSIBLE your favorite word" right?  So I make a pact with myself today to get myself out of my impossible hole and change my life (in all aspects not just health).  I am a grownup now and I can't keep hiding under a rock or stuffing my face every time I'm faced with adversity.  I need some better coping mechanisms.  I need to learn how to keep that balance I finally found.  I want out of this holding pattern I am in and back to that place right up on the edge of it all.  I want to find my feet again and feel that free feeling like I did when I was 10.  Sigh.  Maybe I should go out and play with them at recess………..

I am very proud of myself, oh avid readers.  I'm truly coming into my own right now.  But I still have a long way to go.  And I don't always like the choices that are in front of me.  I'll get there in the end though, that much I know is true.

Okay, back to the grindstone it is!  Have a fabby, fat-free, day!

 FGS

A Little Inspiration.....

Okay -- a woman winning the Biggest Loser, that's some pretty dang good inspiration. And Ali is just a plain old inspiring girl to begin with. So yeah Ali! Her victory is certainly getting me moving this morning.

Then my punk friend Daddy C told me he decided to run the London Marathon a few weeks ago. And he just did it. Yeah, just decided to run it. He is a bloody fitness freak and I'm so impressed. Especially because I knew him when he was still a bad influence.
So thanks all you inspirations! You ROCK!!! And now I feel like a slacker and need to go to the gym........

And that concludes this get-off-yer-ass-and-move public service announcement!

FGS

ps. I have no delusions of running marathons or become and insane fitness freak like Ali. I'm just in total awe of what they have accomplished.......

Super Sunday Extravaganza!

How can you go wrong with a blog title like that?

So here I go with a whole lotta random!!!!!!!!

First a shout out to the WW girls who just plain old rock! Your comments and support, the fantabulous tidbits of advice, and the great topics of conversation you bring up on the boards have been priceless in keeping me real, keeping me sane, keeping me laughing and keeping me thinking during this journey... thank you, thank you, thank you. And thank you for reading my blog!

Yesterday I stumbled across a new blog, Gettin' Shrunk, which really got me thinking again about this whole process of weight loss and just where I could be if I made it a priority again in my life. Don't get me wrong, the time with HBB was a total horkfest but if I'm honest with myself, and that's what I need to do more often, I started slipping a few months before he got here. Not crazy slipping, but just enough to minimize my shrinkage. Heck, I get 50AP's a week and I can't manage more than a pound of weight loss per week -- there's got to be something up with that! And that something is called Fat Grl's loosey goosey method of counting points. As always, I'm not totally paying attention. Is it realistic for me to lose more than 5 pounds a month? Maybe not. My body seems to be comfortable losing at this speed. So, I'm going to stick with being happy at my 5 pounds a month. But I'm going to reexamine my daily points intake, the foods I'm eating (sigh, veggies and fruit have gone a bit by the way side in favor of gas...). I can do this -- it just has to be my priority again.

Which brings me to my new lifestyle change. I'm gardening! Okay, I've always gardened (with mixed success). Now it just makes sense to put some actual effort into it. And I have this massive backyard!


I grew up on a farm (the family commune in Vermont, more specifically...) and I've always loved having fresh veggies from the garden. So why not do it in an urban setting? For the last couple of years I've grown tomatoes in pots and herbs but this year I'm ready to expand a bit. Due to a massive financial crisis in my world (sigh, what's new?), it might have to start small and get bigger later on. But I'm all about herbs and tomatoes this summer. Too bad you can't grow fresh mozzarella!

This weekend I also spent a lot of time looking at how to reduce my debt (blah!) and more efficient ways to be green, self-sustaining (who knew you could raise chickens in downtown Denver!) and methodical with my meal preparation. I may have been living under a rock but I just heard/read about this book called Once A Month Cooking. The premise is simple -- once a month, you cook up a storm and freeze what you've made for future eating convenience. In this time of money woes, what a great way to save money and time. How come I've never heard of this before??? I guess I've sort've been doing something like it -- just not planning it out ahead of time. It makes a lot of sense when you think about it. You always have a main dish in your freezer and just have to add salad and other sides. Easiness! This site also has heaps of information on how to do it as well as recipes that work well. So financially this is good and healthwise this is good. What's better than coming home for dinner and it's already made? Less chance of ordering out for pizza!!!

Now I just need a new freezer for all these pre-made meals and fresh veggies...

In other news, I have a new addiction!

Muffins. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, muffins! Yup, muffins!

Last weekend I made these super yummy banana bran muffins (yeah, I know ewwwwww bananas and bran! but they were hella good!) and I'm addicted. This weekend I'm making Whole Wheat Pumpkin Cranberry muffins. Super yum. Oooh and I just had a thought -- I'm going to chuck in some Benefiber when I bake this batch. Hey why not! Nothing wrong with fiber...... So why am I so addicted? Well for starters muffins are yummy and these banana bran muffins are super delish and don't taste healthy at all. Second, they make a fantastic afternoon snacks before the gym. Or at least I think so. I've been having a muffin and sugar free applesauce about an hour and a half before I go to the gym.


Yummy 3pt Banana Bran Muffins
(adapted from an Eat me, delicious recipe)

2 cups bran cereal (bran flakes work just fine, as does Kellogs All Bran)
1 1/4 cups skim milk
1/3 cup raisins ( I used golden)
3/4 cup all purpose flour
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1/3 cup sugar
1 tbsp baking powder (might want to use 2 tsp instead...)
1/4 tsp salt
2 tsp cinnamon
1 tbsp ground flax seed
1 egg
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1 banana, mashed ( I had two small bananas so I used those...)
1/3 cup chopped walnuts or pecans ( I used pecans and not quite 1/3cup)
1/2 cup coconut (sweetened)

1- Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Spray muffin tin with cooking spray, or line with cupcake papers.

2- In a large mixing bowl, combine bran cereal, milk and raisins. Let stand for about 2 minutes to soften the cereal.

3- Stir together flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, cinnamon and ground flax seed in a small bowl. Set aside.

4- Into the softened bran mix stir the egg and oil. Beat well. Stir in the banana and walnuts. Add the flour mixture, stirring only until combined. Divide the batter evenly into 12 muffin cups.

5 - Bake about 20 minutes or until golden brown.

Makes 12 nice sized muffins.


Check out Ochef for some great tips about how to cut fat and when you should keep it when you are baking.

And that is about it for my Sunday randomness. I have a date with the dishes in my kitchen...and the laundry....and the floors.....

Love ya,
FGS

Big Fat Sigh.........

Yeah it's Thursday! And I can't stop stuffing my face...... Okay, so stuffing is a bit of an exaggeration. But I think I jumped back into this healthy lifestyle of mine a wee bit too quickly without thinking it through. The past has taught me that when you try to get back on track with both your eating and exercise at the same time, life becomes difficult.

Maybe that's just an excuse.

Maybe I just need to get over myself and stop eating like it's going out of style.

At least I'm back at the gym! Three more sessions with PT and then I'm on my own. Am I freaking? Just a wee bit. But, I can do this.

"Where have you let yourself down?"
So Tuesday night on the Biggest Loser, Ali said something very profound -- I know, crazy but still. When look at a poster of herself and how she was before she lost 99 pounds, she said "Where have you let yourself down?". Okay, so she said it way better than that but that was the gist of it. Letting yourself down. Sigh. I've been doing a lot of that lately. Not in my personal life, no no. But certainly when it comes to living a healthy lifestyle and losing weight and getting exercise, I've been slacking. I have been letting myself down. Period. I think sometimes it's easy to slip back into old habits. But, and here's the big BUT, now I actually catch myself when I'm slipping not after I've totally slipped and wallowed around and begun a pity party for myself. Makes me think that maybe I haven't really let myself down when you really think about it. Because at the end of the day, I haven't given up on me. I'll never give up on me again.

Side Conversations
Yesterday a good friend of mine and I had a long chat about this annoying coworker of her's that is on one of those low carb diets. This coworker has made a point of being obnoxious about how much weight she's lost and just how tough her diet is, etc. etc. I don't know why people have to be sooooooo annoying about their diets -- maybe because they want support and want to feel good about their success. Sure I'm guilty of looking for those external supports too. I mean, who hasn't asked if their ass was looking better. At the end of the day though, to me it is a much better compliment when someone just says how good you are looking without you having to ask for the compliment.........
I am also going to refrain from giving my opinion on low carb and other super restrictive diets because I think what ever works for you, works. But I will add my two cents on lasting weight loss success. I wonder just how people who are on crazy restricted diets can make it year after year after year when they are only allowed a limited array of foods to eat. I mean, I have willpower and all folks but living the entire rest of my life without a glass of red wine or a bowl of ice cream?!?! That's just unthinkable. I'll be the first to admit I get jealous when people come in saying they've lost 5 pounds during the week or are having heaps of success. My journey has been slow and less gratifying. I'm stronger than I've ever been and that is a huge victory. So, I'll keep reminding myself though that I'll take my 4 pounds a month weight loss. Slow and steady wins the race, right?
Another friend of mine just started Slim for Life. She had previously done WW and hated it because she had to count points. Now she has to weigh in two time a week and eat a very restricted diet. I remember when I started Jenny Craig. I lost heaps and quickly because it was so controlled. Guess what peeps? I gained it all back plus ten pounds. Why's that you ask? Well, because I never learned to a)take personal responsibility for what was going into my mouth b)to cook and prepare meals and foods that were good for me and not prepackaged and c) to fix the underlying reasons of why I'm an emotional eater to begin with.

So I wish these ladies success in their diet adventures. I'm sticking to my slow method.

And that's all the news that's fit to print! Sigh, yes I am Little Miss Whiny Pants right now......... I'll get over myself sometime soon!

FGS

Back to the Beginning....sort of.

Alright, so not really the total beginning. But, another beginning none-the-less. I like beginnings. I like when things can be rewritten. I also like gorgeous sunny spring afternoons in Denver. Gotta love the Mile High when spring is in the air.

Today I am revisiting this post from not too long ago to remind just exactly where I am going. I'm not so super off track.

Part 1: 9 months to get to that goal of 10 pounds from goal weight. I'd like to be at my goal weight by Christmas.

Currently I am approximately 40lbs from my goal weight. How can I say approximately, you ask? Well, I'm moving into uncharted territory here. I haven't ever really known a weight where I felt healthy and good and could easily maintain. So I've decided to give myself a ballpark weight -- once I hit this weight, then I think I can reevaluate the situation and decide what my true happy weight should be. So you won't hear me saying I want to weigh x number of pounds. Ever. I've got a general goal, and then I'll go from there.

Part 2: On the fitness front, I'm working on the 10k thing. But because of my knees and feet I don't think I'll ever actually run a race. It would just hurt too much. I can still do it on the treadmill though! I think I need reminding that a)I've already come very far in this quest to get healthy and b)it's time to step it up a notch again. With the ending of my sessions with PT this seems like the perfect time to start thinking about my life and health without someone holding my hand. I want to try some new fitness classes too. That's a new addition to my list.

In these last few weeks of lurve and excitement, my fitness goals went by the wayside. But, things in that department have settled down a wee bit and I think it's time for me to remember exactly what I'm doing. Unlike the past, I have gotten my derailed mess back on track faster than before and without seriously crazy weight gain. I did gain about 5 pounds during these past two weeks. I am incredibly frustrated by this because I lose on average 4 pounds a month. So I know I will have a lot of hard work ahead of me to melt these pounds off. But I can do it. Yeah, I really can.

I think one of the things I'd like to start including in this blog is either a daily or weekly wrap up of my training sessions. Just to keep myself more accountable. I have been realizing in these last two super-slacker weeks just how much having PT has kept me motivated. I've found more excuses NOT to go to the gym this past month than I have in the last year. All that changes on Monday! It's back to being fit FGS for me. I like fit FGS -- she's much happier, way more radiant and less cranky.

So here's my question to peeps in blog land. Got any great sites for circuit training or workout planning??? I've learned a lot from PT but I am always up for something new!

Alright I'm wrapping this up with my three goals for this month.
1)Track my exercise/workouts here at least once a week.
2)Get back OP with WW and track my points.
3)Back to the gym 5 -6 days a week.

If it is written in black and white, I can't cheat, right?

Love and sunshine,
FGS

I <3 HBB........

Okay, how cheezy was that?

I drop off the face of the earth and that is all that I can come up with for a title. Man I have lost my blogging mojo!

Well, I'm back. Eating chocolate as I type this and wondering just how much more it will add to the 6 pounds I gained over the past week. Let me tell you folks, I enjoyed gaining them. As you may know, I had a visit from a certain Hot British Boy (HBB). Yeah, who knew, right? So he came to visit, we ate too much, and I'm terribly twitterpated! But all you can eat buffets at casinos are never a good idea despite whatever else you are doing to burn off those horrendous calories! Buffets are evil... but on a side note, and small moment of pride, I did eat heaps but I didn't just plow through all of the crap I put on my plate. For the first time in forever I didn't eat food just because it was there.

Of course, I'm in the PMS, pity party phase of my month right now and I've had more chocolate and EEK! Ben and Jerry's in the last few days than I have in all of last year. It's doing wonders for my body let me tell you. I guess I hadn't realized how sensitive I'd become to sugar and such. Ooooh it throws me out of whack! I can just feel my skin crawling right now after my consumption of chocolate Easter eggs -- you know the kinds with the hard shell, but not the M&M hard shell? Add to all of this that HBB has come and gone and won't be back until July (WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!) and I'm a walking disaster.

At least I have pinpointed my major dieting/control issue. I am an emotional eater folks. Who knew? I am having a really hard time getting it under control right now. (Side note: next time HBB is here, we are eating better. Period. Now that I know he loves me and I don't have to woo him with my cooking!) I've felt this way before, that's for sure -- but I'm not so sure I've ever really figured out a good way to get it back together again. Sigh...lots of deep breaths, methinks.

On top of all this, I only have 4 sessions left with PT. A few weeks ago, I was dreading this -- now, I think I'm actually ready. I really think I've learned what I need to. I think I disappointed PT because I didn't lose weight as fast as he wanted me to. I think he's given up on me to be honest. It kind of pisses me off. But then, I guess just like we can get wrapped up in the scale, others can get wrapped up in their measures of success. I've certainly gotten a lot out of my time with him and I know that I will have a hard time pushing myself as hard as he pushes me. But I certainly will be able to manage! As a teacher I should understand this -- that there is always a point when your student is ready to go out on their own. It's time. I'm sick of him, he's sick of me.

And let's face it peeps, I can't afford it any more. Even more to the point, I guess I'm at a point where I need to figure out what exactly it is I want from this. I've certainly turned my life around these past few months. Now I'm back at that point where I need to set goals and revisit where it is I want to go. Hmmm, you mean you were meant to actually assess these things from time to time???

Yes Fat Grl, you are.

Ahh, yes well maybe that's my problem! That assessment/readjustment piece.

It's getting late though so this is going to have to wait until manana.

It's good to be back..........

TTFN,
FGS