Impossible IS my favorite word, dammit!

Yesterday I took an unscheduled trip to Subway to get a $5 footlong (turkey and veg only!!! So it was 11 points – but I stayed OP!) and there was this lady there whining about her diet.  Okay, remember how I said whatever works for you?  Well, I still honestly believe that.  Yeah whatever works for you.  She kept going on about how she'd started her diet (Fit for life, was what she said) 3 days ago and just how miserable she was.  I just sat there contemplating which bread I was going to have with my turkey footlong veggie extravaganza.  She ordered a salad.  Nothing on it.  And made the poor girl count out exactly six slices of tomato and six slices of cucumber for it.  Bloody ridiculous!  Is there something magical about the number 6?  Some great power of weight loss that it possesses?  Sigh – whatever works.

Coming back from my trip to Subway (big honking turkey sub in hand), I pulled into the parking lot and just sat there and watched some of the fourth grade students run out to the playground for recess.  I got a wee bit nostalgic thinking about that feeling – you know, that free feeling, the one you got when you were a kid and finally allowed to play after sitting still for so long.  That feeling of excitement – where you can barely feel your feet touching the ground you are running so fast.  Then I tried to remember the last time I felt that way.  And I couldn't remember.  Maybe freedom feels differently when you are a grown up. 

Sigh, being a grown up sucks and I admit it: I'm one frustrated girl at the moment and I don't always like being a grownup.  Life has been a bit daunting lately.  Money woes, faraway boyfriend woes, job woes.  Woe is me… yeah I could believe that and sink into a pit of despair.  And I admit that some days I want to just that.  But then I think about what the future has in store for me, and all the things in the past I've overcome and I realize that sinking into a pit of despair just isn't an option any more.  "Make IMPOSSIBLE your favorite word" right?  So I make a pact with myself today to get myself out of my impossible hole and change my life (in all aspects not just health).  I am a grownup now and I can't keep hiding under a rock or stuffing my face every time I'm faced with adversity.  I need some better coping mechanisms.  I need to learn how to keep that balance I finally found.  I want out of this holding pattern I am in and back to that place right up on the edge of it all.  I want to find my feet again and feel that free feeling like I did when I was 10.  Sigh.  Maybe I should go out and play with them at recess………..

I am very proud of myself, oh avid readers.  I'm truly coming into my own right now.  But I still have a long way to go.  And I don't always like the choices that are in front of me.  I'll get there in the end though, that much I know is true.

Okay, back to the grindstone it is!  Have a fabby, fat-free, day!

 FGS