Black Holes and Other Large Abysses....

Apparently, I have fallen into one.

Funny the direction that life takes you sometime. From busy to bored in five seconds flat. From on top of your game to scrambling to get your shizznit together. Yesterday seemed to be one of those days when things came together and sorted themselves out. My car got fixed, I found the perfect pair of running shoes, my students were well behaved, I erased all of my old boyfriend emails and pictures (how amazing liberating!!!), and the sun was shining. What more could a girl want?

The real question is -- what will today bring? My ass back to the gym for starters. I need a good workout. For some reason the gym and I did not get off on the right foot this week at all. PT was a bit of a jerk on Monday and between the car and other things I just decided that maybe it was time for a mini-gym break. I suppose you can add this to the list of 'really important things I learned while losing weight'. When your body and your mind is irritated at the gym, take a couple of days off. Sometimes, your body knows what it is talking about!

I ordered new shoes last night. They are supposed to be here by Monday. I tried to find some whilst out and about last Saturday -- but I'm a stickler. I have tricky feet and I've found a certain brand and shoe that I love, love, love that doesn't hurt my feet or aggravate my shin splints when I run. Amazing how pushy sales people are these days when they insist you try something else because they don't have what you want. Sure, sometimes this can lead to amazing epiphanies and new product devotion. This works with jeans and bras and other trivial things -- not my feet. And frankly, pushy sales ladies at Foot Locker are not my idea of fonts of knowledge in shoe technology for severe pronators.

Up until yesterday, this week felt like it was one of those weeks that you are just going to be proud of getting through in one piece. It still feels a bit that way -- particularly when I look at the scale. I am not so sure I'll be weighing in today. In fact, I know I won't be weighing in. I am bloated and still cranky (sorry HBB, I know that is exactly what you wanted to read!). So not a chance I'm going near that scale! I'll get my workouts in this weekend and let things simmer down a bit.

In other news, three weeks from today, HBB will be in the USA. Wahoooooooooooooooooooo! Sigh. It's all so very exciting, people. I'm nervous, of course, but I'll let you in on a little secret -- he's amazing. I was reading a great post over at Comrade GoGo about her randomly finding love despite the fact that she didn't feel as if she was the right size. Of course, these same thoughts and feelings freak me out daily -- that he'll get off the plane and be scared by the size of my massive thighs and pudgy belly and get on the next plane back from whence he came. Am I worthy of this???

It totally freaks me out. His answer to my freakouts -- do you really think I am only in love with you because of your body? And I can't believe I am writing about this on my blog! I suppose at the end of the day, this is one of those important issues that I need to sort through in my head. I am worthy of this amazing relationship and his love. Now I just need to believe in it. And remember to breathe when picking him up at the airport.

Alright, that's enough today! It's hard to crawl out of an abyss people! Baby steps!!!

Keep it realz,
FGS