Of Cabbages and Kings

"The time has come,' the Walrus said,

"To talk of many things:

Of shoes -- and ships -- and sealing wax --

Of cabbages -- and kings --

And why the sea is boiling hot --

And whether pigs have wings

'But wait a bit,' the Oysters cried,

'Before we have our chat;

For some of us are out of breath,

And all of us are fat!'

I feel as if I have just been lulled into the Walrus and the Carpenter’s trap today – I was too eager to hear about those dang cabbages and kings and I forgot that Walruses like oysters…and not in ‘that’ way….and now look where I am. Does that even make sense??? Blah! I don’t know what makes sense anymore. I thought monkeys swung from trees and ate bananas and that hope was a thing with feathers that perched in your soul, but now I’m not even sure about that anymore! And I’m a babbling wreck!

Today feels too much like a Monday. Everything has become a bit discombobulated and messy the way it likes to on a Monday. But, thank heavens it is Wednesday. That means that the week is halfway over. Not that I should be wishing time away. I had a friend that used to yell at me for such useless wishing away of time. So I won’t wish away any more time. Not today anyway. It’s one of those dizzy days that will be over when it’s over and not a minute sooner!

*******End of Drama and Pity Party for Today********

The Thanksgiving break has come and gone and I fared rather well considering the amount of food I consumed. I fell off the bandwagon big time yesterday though…I just needed comfort food. I will give myself credit for making a half-hearted attempt to make that comfort food WW point friendly. But really, how friendly can you make chilaquiles??? For any of you who haven’t experienced the magic that is chilaquiles, I urge you to do so (with CAUTION of course!). Chilaquiles are Mexican food at it’s yummiest. Warm, gooey, cheesy goodness. With cream. And more cheese. And sauce and more cheese. And avocado. And more cheese. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm cheese.

We now pause to wipe the drool puddle of the desk.

All clean!

I just spent an hour at the gym, so now I’m not feeling as guilty…though I am still having carnal thoughts about those chilaquiles. Yes, I covet chilaquiles. Hmmmm. But, it’s all good. My once a year consumption is not going to kill me. And I got 10APs at the gym……

That’s all for now folks. I’m one frazzled girl.

Hasta la proxima,

FGS

Blog Safari!

In the interest of procrastination, I spent some quality time this morning checking out some blogs whilst I really should have been a) at the gym or b) working on my %&^%*! thesis.

Here is a small sampling of the fabulous blogs I found:

Numero Uno: This Mama Cooks
This site just rocks! Recipes, information and great links abound. I just hope I don't ever end up on her teacher smackdown page! Check out this interesting entry on 5 Ways Dieters Deal with Holiday Feasts.

Dos: The Diet Detective
The Diet Detective does have quite a few ads -- but hey, who cares! The extensive collection of tools including calorie counters, target heart rate calculators etc. are fantastic as is the extensive library of informative articles. Check out this little article on target heart rate.

Tres (and I have no idea why I'm counting in Spanish!): Wellness.com
Because, at the end of the day, this is all about being well, right? And the one thing I think I forget is that a lot of my success with weight loss has to do with healing my head! Emotional eating is the biggest issue I have. Read this amazing article about forgiveness -- maybe it will help you start thinking of ways of letting go of the past.

Well kids and chickens, I probably really should get my arse back to work. I have a thesis to write and a turkey to cook (I know, I know -- don't ask! I love me some turkey!) and laundry to do and dogs to walk and.....well i could go on forever. Check these links out -- you just may like them!

FGS

'Twas the Day After Thanksgiving...

and all the people were bloated
wishing they hadn't been so gluttonous
when their turkey with gravy they coated...

Tee hee...okay, so rhyming poetry has never been a forte of mine! The big day is over! Phew. So I wasn't exactly the angel, but I'm pretty happy with the choices I made and I didn't have to unbutton my pants. And yum turkey! I stuck to my plan for the most part -- though I should have asked my friend for a measuring cup! Stuffing is my downfall! And the margarita...who knew there'd be margaritas at Thanksgiving!?!?!?!

I even got on the scale this morning!!! Yeah I know, scary! I was only up 3 pounds from yesterday's weigh in -- but I'm thinking about 90% of that is from how salty the food was not by the massive quantities of food I consumed (because I didn't!). It's amazing how salty food can be when you don't eat a lot of salt. Throw in a brined turkey and it was just a regular salt fest! I guess I hadn't realized how sensitive my palate has become. It also made me proud for having been so good to my body these past few months! I never realized just how these life changes were affecting me. I mean sure -- you can see the results in the lost inches and pounds -- but it was really interesting to see just how things that I used to like didn't taste right to me anymore. Sure that green bean casserole was tasty -- but it was so rich and creamy not to mention VERY salty and although I had some, I certainly didn't load my plate like I did in previous Thanksgiving blowouts!

So that brings me to the part on things I'm thankful for -- a wee bit belated!

I am thankful for:
*my family and friends -- without them, well I don't even want to think about that!
*my faithful blog readers -- thank you for your kind words and constant inspiration.
*my roomy -- for keeping it real
*Mr. Mojo -- for making me think again
*having a roof over my head and food in my belly
*PT -- for kicking my ass even when it doesn't want to be kicked
*fuzzy monkeys -- because they always make me laugh
*WW Boardies -- for keeping me real and making me laugh and holding me accountable

I'm sure I could go on for awhile but I think that covers the main points. This time of year I always get a bit nostalgic. I spend a lot of time between now and January 1st contemplating the previous year, analyzing my progress and wondering where I go from here. So be forewarned that there will be a lot of reflective posts coming your way soon!

Well, I suppose I should hit the gym...

Hope everyone had a fabby Thanksgiving!

FGS

Yum, Yum! It’s Almost Turkey Time!

Turkey for me, turkey for you, let's eat turkey in a big brown shoe. Gobble gobble gee and gobble gobble gickle...

Ahh Thanksgiving -- the single biggest day of gluttony and diet disaster! It doesn't get much better than Turkey Day for us peeps that like to eat. I mean, really, how can you beat a holiday where the entire focus of the day is chowing down on some of the best comfort food ever and sitting on your arse watching other play sports and/or haul around oversized balloons of cartoon characters? I suppose in the spirit of maintaining some dietary sanity, I should talk about how I'm planning on cutting the calories on the big day!

FGS Cranberry Sauce

1 package of fresh cranberries, washed
2 medium oranges, skin washed
Splenda to taste.

Quarter the orange. Haul out your very best food processor – no fancy blades needed. Chuck all of the above ingredients (skin and all) into the food processor and process until ingredients are chopped to your desired consistency – I like mine a bit chunky. Kick it up a notch and add some allspice. Let it sit for a few hours in the fridge prior to serving.

0 points per serving. 8 generous servings

So it's not cranberries in a can – but dang does it have some serious fiber! Even if you choose to use 2 tablespoons of sugar and not Splenda, it is still 0 points. It's fresh and yummy and gets better the more it sits around. Can't beat that…

So how else does a girl prepare herself for this day of indulgence? Well, I've already screwed up my very nicely made workout chart. Pfft. My lazy arse did not want to be separated from my very warm and toasty duvet this morning. So scratch morning swim from my list of Tuesday activities. And tonight – well, I'm getting waxed (someday I will devote an entire blog about how much I love my wax lady.) So there goes the gym for this evening as well. Sigh.

You know what? I'll let you in on a little secret. I'm not feeling all that guilty about it. I should – especially since I got on the scale this morning and I'm still up (grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.) from the weekend extravaganza.

So why am I not more freaked out? Yikes maybe I should be! I think it just sort of dawned on me today that this is all a part of understanding that changing your life and eating habits isn't always about conveniently pre-planned, portion and calorie controlled meals. It's about how you deal with life – real life – messy, sloppy, turkey and gravy filled real life.

Today I was reading a Pasta Queen blog and she mentions "vortexes of uncertainty". Yeah, vortexes of uncertainty. I think it's my new favorite term! I find myself getting sucked into them constantly. I spend excessive time and effort trying to plot out my life to avoid uncertainty. Does it help? Occasionally. I suppose learning to live with the fact that you just don't know when you may be abducted by aliens or where a new relationship is going to take you is also part of real life. Uncertainty is a part of life. Breathe…breathe some more. And deal with the fact that you don't always know what your happy ending is going to be………

Real life ebbs and flows. The trick is, to remember that and keep it all in perspective.

This sort of seems to apply to relationships too.

For the record, I'm not afraid of becoming a cat lady. Random comment I know. The ladies on the WW blog were chatting about it yesterday and it really got me thinking. I'm not going to divulge my entire romantic history or past here, but I will say that I am not the kind of girl that settles. It takes a very, very special man to pull me out of my shell. One with a lot of Mojo…. I refuse to settle for anything less – even if it means buying some cats. This doesn't mean that some days I don't feel like the world's most lonely person nor that I don't wish to drown my sorrows in a bottle of red wine and excessive amounts of chocolate. It means that I would rather have those few off days here and there than be stuck with someone who doesn't treat me well. Period.

End of crazy cat lady speech.

Well, I suppose it's that time. Yeah begins with a 'w' and ends with a 'k'.

Gobble de Gobble,

FGS

Old Habits Die Hard

I swam this morning – and the 50 minutes of quiet in the pool did me some serious good.  It certainly was nice to just tune out and lose myself this morning.  The weekend left me feeling very blah to say the least.  I suppose the hardest thing about this whole adventure in weight loss is trying to make my new, better habits fit into my old life.  The easiest answer seems to be get a new life.  Tee hee. Yeah, that's not going to happen!  So how do you make your habits fit?  Saying no to friends gets old – I am only 31 after all! I want to have a social life – and go out with my friends.  But…yes that ominous but…right now, at this very moment in time, I want to lose weight more.  There are so many things brewing in my life right now – the horizon is just chock full of potential.  And I never, ever, ever want to have my weight to use as an excuse again. 

Alright, enough with serious!  Yes, yes I take myself too seriously sometimes…just kick me.  I need it!  This weekend was a bit crazy – I went out on Friday and spent the rest of the weekend trying to recover.  And of course I spent the rest of the weekend regretting drinking and eating whatever I pleased.  Lying in bed nursing my sore head certainly made me take a serious, long think about whether or not I really want to drink right now.  Especially after I got on the scale this morning!  Grrrrrrrrrr.  I hate going backwards!  I hate the feelings of guilt and disappointment that overwhelmed me. 

Was Friday night really worth this? 

NO!  That was an easy one to answer. Yeah it was fun and I enjoyed being with my friends.  But I'm going to have to learn how to have that same good time without drinking.  Don't get me wrong – I like my red wine.  But right now, it needs to fit into my life in moderation.  Am I okay with that? That, I suppose, is what really matters.  Can I live with not having alcohol in my life for now?

Yes. Yes. Yes.  There's so much more that I want than one night of drunken fun.

Man, this serious side is just not going away easily this morning! 

Okay – Turkey day is around the corner! Yeah!!! I am thinking I need to set myself some goals to get through this week – and more importantly to lose those 4 questionable pounds I put on this weekend.  Yes, before you tell me there's no way I put on 4 pounds this weekend, I know – it's the salt and the alcohol and the dehydration, etc.  But still, I am gearing up for a big old battle with the scale this week! 

So here's my game plan!

Turkey Week Boot Camp (thanks Trish for the boot camp inspiration)

Monday	Swim 50 mins	PT 60 mins
Tuesday	Swim 50 mins	Cardio 60 mins
Wednesday	Cardio 45 mins	PT 60 mins
Turkey day	4 mile run*	45 min walk
Friday	Cardio 60 mins	Strength Circuit 30 mins
Saturday	Mini Triathlon

 
So my mini-triathlon is going to be ala Biggest loser – and just for fun.  Run, Bike then Swim.  I'll get back to you on the actual mileages when I think about it some more!  Should be interesting!  I am very interested to see if I can actually manage a loss this week.  And even more interested to see if I can regain control of my body before Thursday! (yes, I'm moving my WI to Thursday this week!)

Eating this Turkey Day is not going to be as much of a challenge as it has been in the past because I'm having dinner at my friend's house – so yeah no leftovers or unending temptations for me!  Although I am planning on cooking a turkey at home….I can't help it, I LOVE turkey!  They also aren't big drinkers so I don't have to worry much about meaningless alcohol consumption.

Part two of the Turkey Day plan consists of roomy and I bringing WW friendly food to our feast.  That way I can eat as much stuffing as I want to and not feel guilty. And cranberry sauce…ooooh yum.  And mushed sweet potatoes! Okay, I'm getting hungry!  Mmmmmm….donuts!  Wait, that's not right.

I am also planning on watching my portions – and keeping my fingers out of the snacky foods.  But I'm not planning on avoiding anything or denying myself tastes of my favorite turkey day treats.  Nor am I going to end up feeling like Violet Beauregard on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by the end of this turkey horkfest either! 

Despite the craziness that was my weekend, I feel so much more in control of my life at the moment.  I can't say as I honestly regret the choices I made this weekend – because I really don't.  I can say though that my choices in the future will be a wee bit different.  I suppose that's the power of learning a lesson. 

This journey has taken me places that I never thought I'd go.  And boy do I like going new places……..

Keep it realz,

FGS

Bangkok Banana Pancakes

Alright, so I admit it was a weekend of indulgences. I don't even want to go near the scale for another four days! But, it was a good weekend (I went out people and socialized!) despite the killer hangover and serious longing for a food from my past.

Yes...Bangkok banana pancakes...there's nothing like 'em at 3am! Bananas and pancake and sweetened condensed milk and chocolate.......heaven! Sigh.....I need a trip to Bangers right about now.

So this post -- not so helpful in either the diet or fitness departments. But hey -- everyone is entitled to their mini-breaks every now and again. As long as that goal always remains in sight and you don't get sooooooooooooooo distracted that you forget why you started in the first place.

Ok, I'm off to drool at my video pancakes...

FGS

ps. For such a famous bloody dish, you'd think it would be easy to find a picture of it......NOT!

Once Upon a Yak

What does this post have to do with yaks you ask?  Well, not so much.  But it does have to do with traveling and weight loss!  And I like random analogies.   So there.  Yaks rock.  Well, actually they kind of smell.  Okay, so they smell A LOT!  But hey, they live peacefully at high altitude and let the nice Tibetans paint them and put ribbons in their hair…

Anyhow, I digress…

Lately this weight loss journey has been reminding me a lot of my days of traveling.  Yeah, weird, right?  But here it is.  Once upon a time, a long, long time ago when I was a newbie traveler backpacking around China, the funniest thing kept happening -- everywhere I seemed to go, I kept meeting up with hardcore travelers who had been traveling for a month or more.  When you are a travel newbie, those fellow hardcore travelers just nod their heads at you and look at you with these knowing looks that were part pity, part 'ha-ha-it's-your-turn-to-suffer', and part humor.   But I revered them!  They knew the secrets of the system, they had sussed out that you don't ever pay for the top bunk on a Chinese sleeper train, and that toilet paper is truly a precious commodity. 

So what does this have to do with losing weight?  Well, there are so many people that have gone before – people who have experienced the plateaus, the frustrational weeks where you just don't lose and have discovered the most point friendly versions of chocolate in existence.  These wise, wise people have some extensive knowledge and when the going gets tough, can remind you to have patience. 

Yes young grasshopper, patience.  Patience is right up there with choices when it comes to topics I like to talk about.

So traveling and weight loss – turns out they have more in common than I had ever thought before.  And really in the end, it's all about the journey not the final destination. 

Oh, and coagulated fat(Yak butter baby!) makes really nifty sculptures! 

Things that annoy me, part 1.

 Being broke.  Flat broke.  I mean it.  No money except the change in my piggybank. Annoying!

Constantly having no money is right up there on the top of the annoying list along with skinny girls who do nothing at the gym but flaunt their perfect asses (which I have no idea how they managed to get perfect in the first place!) and those people who insist on waiting for parking spaces at Walmart.

Right now, I'm in one of those phases of life where everything seems to revolve around money – or better explained, the lack of it.  Debt sucks.  Not being able to pay all the bills sucks. And it stresses me out.  How do I change it though?  Hmmm…is this another appropriate time for planning and 'baby steps' comments?

Things that annoy me, part 2.

Okay, I'm in a mood today.  I keep finding these articles that tell me I can 'lose 10 pounds without really trying'.  Ooooh! Really?  Sign me up.  I eagerly open up these articles and email attachments to find the secret to losing without trying only to read this:

• don't drink soda or coffee from Starbucks
• don't eat your salad with salad dressing
• drink skim milk only
• oh, yeah and exercise.

Insert image of me with a blank faced stare here.  Thank you for that excellent piece of journalism and advice MSN.
 
DUH!  I mean really people, could you have come up with a list of more useless information?  For the record, I'm sick of being told to stop drinking soda.  I don't drink soda!  So cutting it out of my diet isn't going to make me lose any weight!  And really – no salad dressing? C'mon people! These lips haven't tasted full fat ranch in at least 5 years!  Exercise? What's that?  Hmmm, I'm not sure if I get enough!  
Puuuuuuuuuuhhhllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!  I spend on average six to eight hours a week at the gym.  Yeah, I think I exercise enough.  So where are the super easy ways to lose 10 pounds for me?  But then I suppose, it's like that old saying, nothing good ever comes for free.  And nowhere does this seem to apply more than to weight loss. 

So the world keeps on spinning, and today I just feel as if I'm holding on for the ride.  Mama said there'd be days like these…and danged if she wasn't speaking the truth. 

And as for the yaks, they are a true inspiration to all of us.  I mean really -- who doesn't want an entire nation to worship you and paint all over your body and decorate your hair and make monuments out of your butter?  Wait...that just sounds creepy!

That's all from my world today folks! 

FGS

Milestones...

Just a quick wahooooooooooooooooooooooo! about my weigh in this morning. Down 2 more pounds this morning and I hit a big milestone. Yeah me! Sometimes I have to get on the scale multiple times just to believe the numbers I'm seeing. So yeah, I'm chuffed.

FGS

Curvy Girls are Clever….DUH!

Tell me something I didn't already know!

Sometimes it just takes a study to make what you already know official!  This morning a very lovely friend of mine sent me this article from the BBC.  Yup, that fat in our hips really does contribute to our brain power…or so the study says.  And there's a lovely picture of the Goddess herself, Nigella.  Now that is one gorgeous curvy woman!

Okay, as promised, my diatribe on gyms……

This seems to be a common topic on WW boards so I might as well write a post on here that I can link back to…see I'm smart like that! Yeah hips!!!

The gym.  Let me start back a few years ago.  The gym has always been a bit of an enigma to me.  This mysterious, cavernous place where people go to sculpt and form and grunt and sweat.  To say it intimidated me was an understatement!  Two years ago, I joined a gym called Lady Fitness.  I liked that it was a ladies only gym – and it certainly made it less threatening.  It was a great place to start.  The staff were friendly, the equipment was ok and it certainly was a good place to get my foot in the door and get over my fear of gyms and group exercise.  After a while though, as my fitness started to improve, I found that this gym really didn't offer equipment or training that met my goals.  Instead of just joining another gym though, I did nothing.  Yeah, for six months.  That really did a lot for my fitness!  Why didn't I just join the gym up the road? 

Well, let me tell you.

 It was a co-ed gym. 

There were going to be boys there staring at my fat arse. 

I didn't want to jiggle in front of all those people! 

I was petrified! 

Finally, last February, I decided that my health was more important than my fear or my wobbly bits.  So I went to Bally's.  Yes, it's a national chain and yes I'm sure you'll hear both horror stories and great stories about it.  I'm lucky.  I love my Bally's.  It is bright and airy and there is loads of room and plenty of cardio equipment.  Additionally, there's a pool, hot tub, sauna and steam room.  The pool has been fantastic these days.  I have been rehabbing my knee and having the option to swim has been a great way to get cardio in without adding impact.  Pools aren't for everyone though – so it might be a really good idea to make a list of what you want and need in your gym and what you would like but don't really need in your gym. 

The most important thing for me is that I feel comfortable at my gym.  I love the atmosphere – it's not all about huge men lifting weights, there's a pretty good mix of people there and I've never felt stared at because I was the fat girl on the elliptical.  I just go there, do my thing and then head home.  I still haven't become a 'group exerciser' though I have been eyeing the spinning class for a few weeks now.  Maybe, just maybe I'll have the nerve to go try out a class one of these days!

 Here are some of my top tips on finding a gym:

 When looking for a gym:

1)       Make sure that you feel comfortable there – really listen to yourself when you are walking around on the tour.  Is this a place you could spend 5 hours every week?

2)       Ask questions.  Lots of them.  Take your time and really get an idea of when the peak hours are, are there classes available at a variety of times during the day, are the personal trainers qualified?  The more you know, the better decisions you can make.

3)       Investigate the price.  Right around New Year, the beginning of the summer and then again in the fall gyms seem to have the best deals on membership.  I felt comfortable signing a 3-year contract with my gym – some people don't.  I know I'm not going anywhere so breaking the contract really isn't an issue.  I pay $44 a month for membership – which to me is incredibly reasonable.  I love my gym.  It's clean, the equipment is in good condition and I spend enough time there that the $44 is well worth the investment in my health.  Contracts vary, deals vary.  Don't be afraid to bargain!

4)       Location, location, location.  My gym just happens to be a wee bit out of my way.  I actually have to go in the opposite direction from my house to get there.  Really this hasn't been an issue for me.  However there have been times when I have bailed on going because it's out of the way…but it is within 3 miles of my work so I get there most work days and usually once on the weekend.  But you have to ask yourself – is my gym conveniently located.  If the answer is no, you won't go.

5)       Equipment – is there enough?  Imagine this gym filled to the brim at 5pm.  Is there enough cardio equipment available so you don't have to wait for a machine?

6)       Equipment condition.  Yeah it seems trivial, but having high quality equipment is soooooooooooooooooooo important.  If I wanted to run on a treadmill that I could buy and have at my house, I would have bought a treadmill!  Commercial grade treadmills are miles apart different than those you buy at home.  I now expect that my gym have this quality commercial grade equipment.  One of the first gyms I joined had the versions that you could purchase for home and let me tell you they sucked.  Not only were they always broken, but also they weren't good quality to begin with and made running or doing any cardio a pain.  If the machines are always broken, you aren't going to be able to workout. 

7)       Personal trainers and introductory sessions.  Some gyms offer introductory sessions and workouts with trainers.  I think that this is a great perk to get you started on the right foot.  I got 4 free sessions when I started.  Lol…now I pay for my trainer and man oh man do I love him.  He has changed my life.  Silly, I know.  And as I've written before, it's a HUGE expense.  But having him has certainly motivated me big time.  Yes, yes, I'm spoiled.  Alright…not really spoiled, but willing to give up other things in my life in order to afford the PT.

8)       Do your research!  Look online, call the Better Business Bureau.  Find out what people are saying about the gym.  Before I joined Bally's I asked a million people who I knew worked out there what they thought about the place.  I also looked online to see what people were saying.  Of course there will always be those who have bad experiences…keep that in mind when you are looking.  There's always someone who hates it!  The question is, do the good comments outweigh the bad?

Additionally, there are heaps of online resources if you google or check out some of these resources:

GymPost  allows you to type in your city or address and see all gyms in the area.

Find Fitness Center  allows you to search by metro area

Health Club Scene  will allow you to search for gyms and has free trial offers

Bally Total Fitness

24 Hour Fitness 

If you aren't sure about a gym, don't be afraid to ask for a trial pass or membership before you sign up.  If a gym is any good, they won't have an issue letting you try them out before you join!  Above all, remember, this is an investment in your health – so don't skimp to save a few dollars.  Gyms only work if you are happy with them and actually want to go.  There is no point in having a membership to a gym you never go to!
 

Alright, dissertation over!  It's back to work for me.  This blog has certainly decreased my work productivity! Ooops……
 

Have a good one,

FGS

Monday Cheese…because who doesn’t love cheese?

"You already have what it takes to persist. For persistence is nothing more than continuing to do what you've been doing.
Persistence makes the difference between no achievement and great achievement. And persistence is available to all who choose it.
The enemy of persistence is that little voice you hear in your head that urges you to give up. When you hear that voice, remember that you don't have to do what it says, and you don't have to fight it either.
Just listen to that voice, allow it to have its say, and then calmly let it go. Keep on going and you'll quickly be beyond it.
Remember often, with great detail and passion, why you've chosen to do what you're doing. Keep your focus on the goal, and know that by continuing to progress on your journey, one step at a time, you'll get there.
Persistence isn't complicated, and it doesn't require you to uncover some deep, dark, closely guarded secret. You have what it takes if you'll simply choose to do what it takes and persist until the job is done."
-- Ralph Marston

Courtesy of: Great Day

Here I go about choices again!  I can almost hear the ocular fluid swishing around in your eye sockets as your eyes roll at me.  Choices.  Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Persistence is a choice.  Who knew!  Some of us were born with motivation and the desire to persist no matter what the odds oozing out of our pores and others of us, well, we weren't so lucky.  Yeah, I certainly didn't get hit with the persistence stick…but, I did get a brain – and a fairly good one to boot.  I can make choices, I can change the things I don't like about my life, and I can blog about it to my hearts content.  

So I just read the most interesting little tidbit whilst I was multitasking this morning. It was a quote from Jillian of Biggest Loser fame.  She said "once you let go of the easy-way-out fantasy and start working with your body and not against it, nothing can get in the way of your success." What? Let go of the quick fix fantasy??? Gasp! Cough…choke….but….but……but…..I want to wake up 50 pounds lighter!!!!  Work with my body? Eek!  Yeah, I think I've covered this before.  And yes it's nothing new.  But every now and again, when I'm not losing as fast as I want to, it is still good to remind myself  that this isn't about quick fixes.   This is about long-term solutions and commitments. Oooh that 'c' word gives me shivers.  Deep breath, deep breath.  Yeah that's right, commitments.  Things you do -- always.  Routines and regimens. Scary, scary words.  This doesn't mean I have to give up chocolate or fish and chips just to be healthy…it just means I have to learn to eat them in moderation, to enjoy them and savor them.  I suppose the same is true with the gym.  This working out two times a day is a wee bit neurotic. Ultimately, I think it is going to lead to me being even more frustrated.  So everything in moderation, right?  Work with my body, not against it.  Okay. 

Anyhow, what would a Monday be without some deep profound motivational message?  After all it is the day that diets start, that people renew their commitments to healthy living after weekend binges and the day where we all can begin again.  It's like the day after New Years only every week.  I like new starts. I like getting to rewrite my stories.  And what is a story without a happy ending?  The very best stories have happy endings – and when you think about it, no matter what is going on around us, whether there is drama in our personal lives or chaos at work, we are the ones who write our own happy endings.  We just have to remember what our happy ending is when everything else around us distracts us from that outcome…

Persistence and commitment.  I think I can live with that.

Have a great Monday!

FGS

Hits from the Blog...

Alright, I couldn't help it -- Cypress Hill was running through my head! Today has turned into one of those gray days that is perfect for lazing about and watching movies, updating blogs and other totally useless activities. Despite my repeated promises to myself that I will go to the gym or take the precious pooch for a w-a-l-k (can't even type that word -- I think she can read! Ooooh the ears just perked up and there goes the tail........), I'm not so sure that it is going to happen. I'm still sore from Thursday's torture session with PT. And feeling incredibly lazy!!!

Updates, updates! So, this week was another 'have fun with the tape measure' week. In the past two weeks I've managed to lose another 1" off of various parts of my body. Swimming this week was a great way to change up my workout routine and it really helped bust me out of some serious ruts. To say I had begun to loathe the gym was an understatement. I think when I don't see those major changes on the scale, I just get sooooo fed up and frustrated. Then I change something up -- add something to my routine, start measuring my servings more faithfully again, put more effort in my sessions with PT, or start swimming at 5:30am -- and that scale moves once again and I remember how in love with the gym I am. This process is frustrating. But, I love that I have finally taken ownership of my body and my health and stopped the pity party I had been having.

It's a day of updates! I've updated my blog as well! No more pink. Thanks to Phil and Pi for their lovely additions (banners and pics of me) to my page. It's not totally there yet, but certainly making progress! It is soooooo addicting! In a feeble attempt to improve my blog traffic and dominate the world of blogging (ha!) I'm linking my blog to Technorati.

Thanks for the comments and feedback -- and as always, thanks for reading!

FGS

The Goose is Loose: Tales from the Playground

In case I haven't mentioned it before, I'm a teacher. Special needs kiddos, elementary. This is a complete switch from my last few years of teaching where I've had only high school students. So I'm new to this whole deal – including morning duty. Morning duty is where two teachers attempt to corral the entire elementary school population, line them up in an orderly fashion and keep them from killing ea other for a mere 25 minutes. All very easy, trust me! Today however,
was a tad bit more exciting. I noticed some children playing behind a part of the building where they shouldn't have been. Naughty monkeys! So being the wicked witch that I am, I went over to tell them off and send them back where they belonged when lo and behold, I spot a man with a bow and arrow shooting at the geese on our soccer field. I freaked! There are kids over here and this idiot has decided that it is a smart idea to shoot a weapon (albeit just a bow and arrow) on the school grounds! Pfft. Idiot. Needless to say, that got my heart racing! The rest is far less dramatic. But really, you'd think people would have a wee bit of common sense! Shooting at animals where children are playing? He clearly came from the shallow, scummier end of the gene pool. But I digress….

This is a health and fitness and weight loss blog, right? No, no -- I haven't forgotten!

Since I'm really into making lists these days, I thought I would do a list of what I have learned about weight loss and other brilliant observations that I've had along the way. So without further ado, here they are in no particular order:

1) Red wine, though very tasty, is not a solution for anything and only leads to headaches and bloating.

2) Getting on the scale 50 times in succession will not alter the number that you see in any significant way.

3) No matter how much weight you have lost, you always seem to feel fatter the thinner you get. Does that even make sense?

4) It's not always what is going into your mouth, but more often what is going on in your head that you need to pay attention to.

5) No matter how many squats you do, your ass is most likely never going to look like Heidi Klum's.

6) Why, oh why, would you even want your ass to look like Heidi Klum's?

7) Weight loss is not always directly proportional to the amount of exercise you do – that's right 2 hours on the treadmill does not always translate to a 2-pound loss on the scale.

8) Scales are evil. Okay, not inherently. Scales are just a tool – and only ONE way to measure your success. Repeat after me "It's just a number, it's just a number".

9) Fat is not the enemy. Really it isn't. I like my shiny hair and healthy skin and nails. Give me a little olive oil and life is good…think of Sophia Loren. That is one woman who should be a poster
girl for olive oil consumption.

10) It's okay not to lose. Yeah that's right. Sometimes it takes your body time to catch up with the changes you make – sometimes it takes a while to see those results on the scale. Of course you should read #8 above about scales…

11) Motivation isn't about denying yourself – it's about deciding to make good choices and having a plan for when good choices aren't always going to happen. It's not black and white all the time…

12) Oh yeah, think I mentioned this yesterday: life is in the right always!

Yesterday, Mr.Perky Pants of WW Board fame(yeah Jeff, that's you!) happened to mention another little tidbit that sometimes we all tend to lose sight of in our quest to shed our unwanted pounds in the real world (because after all, we can't all be contestants on the Biggest
Loser!). You don't always have control of what is going on in your life – but you are always in control of you, your body and the choices you make. So when things get tough and stress makes its home on your doorstep or comes with your in-laws for Thanksgiving, just remember that though you may not have control of these situations, you can control what you do in response to them. Eating that black forest cake and those blue cheese mashed potatoes is not going to make your stress or your unwanted holiday company go away…

Life keeps on keeping on here in my little corner of the world and I keep reminding myself to breathe. This isn't a race! Props out to my peeps on the WW boards. You make me laugh and keep me real!

FGS

Confessions

I hate my computer right now.

I'm tired of comparing myself to other people.

I wish I were just comfortable being me again.

Sometimes I get really sad for no real good reason.

I eat too much chocolate.

Bagels truly are food of the gods.

I think I look like a horse...okay not really but sometimes, I feel like one!

I am very uncoordinated (PT can verify this one!).

The only thing I've ever stolen was a box of condoms back in 9th grade!

I sing the lyrics to songs on the radio when I'm driving and I don't care who sees me!

I am Pandora.

And I love monkeys.

It's been a long time since I've confessed to anything!

Today started out with a few tears and has ended with some red wine and good music. I keep repeating to myself some of my favorite Rilke words: "Life is in the right, always." Because it is. Sometimes it take us places that we don't necessarily want to go. But it is always right. Once upon a time, I lived in Mexico. I met some great people there and roamed aimlessly about the country with my trusty guidebook -- a guidebook which is no longer in print. And let me tell you, it was the most honest guide book I've ever had. One of the descriptions of involved the words "herds of bloated white tourists roam freely here" and another "for the best time, try some of the wild mushrooms in the forest". What a guide! Now, where is my guide to life like that? Where is my advice like "for peace of mind, avoid the entire island of Great Britain altogether" and "chocolate is your friend, no matter what the diet people tell you" or "it isn't impossible to fall in love in 3 minutes" and "don't bring home strange boys from bars"? Where is all this advice compiled? I'd really like to know, because frankly, I could use a good dose of advice right now. I could use a good swift kick in the ass.....
............

In other news, I weighed in today and I am down 2 pounds (though after the red wine tonight, not so sure how good that number still is!). It was a little victory in the muddled disaster that was my day. I am proud of myself for changing my life, for sticking to this, for making taking care of me a priority. 22 pounds and counting. I realize that I still have a long, long way to go. Baby steps right? Just like anything else in life, it takes time and patience to get anywhere worth going.

So how am I going to change this life of mine? Keep losing, of course. And be open to what comes along. It's been so long since I've taken down the brick walls surrounding my heart. Maybe it is time to give it all a chance again. Maybe not....

Thanks for reading,
FGS



Ahhhh shoes! Shoes always make a girl feel better!

Falling Forward.......

Falling forward – our clocks, the time, me on my face, my heart, and my mind.  Yes, yes, I'm waxing a bit poetic today.  I'm far too awake and perky for 8:30am! 

These past two days I've gotten up at 5:30 and dragged my arse to the gym to swim.  Yes, I know MENTAL.  Things have gone a bit wonky in my life as far as men are concerned, and I decided I needed to really spend some time thinking about what it is I want and why I keep letting myself go down the same paths.  What better time to do loads of thinking than in the morning, when it's quiet, swimming laps in the pool?  I'd like to say it has worked like a charm, but, other than some serious deliberations about the merits of moving to the UK and annoyances that my heart rate monitor hasn't been functioning as promised underwater, I haven't solved the world's problems or mine.  Sometimes, I suppose you just have to be patient.  Things happen on their own bloody time schedule!

Lose 20lbs in Just 10 Days!

Okay, not really.  But isn't that such a seductive and tempting promise? I can't believe we let diet companies advertise this crap on tv!  Back to time schedules… I've decided that attaching my weight loss to a time limit is counter-productive.  You know – those "I will lose 20lbs by Thanksgiving or 5lbs by Saturday" promises we make to ourselves.  Ridiculous!  I have this lovely little chart I made documenting my projected weight loss, week by week, until I've hypothetically met my goal.  1.5lbs a week – and I'll get there eventually!  But sometimes despite my best efforts and hours and hours of working out, that 1.5-pound loss is not always possible.  And, it gets frustrating when I consistently miss those benchmarks I've set for myself and I've been doing nothing but work hard to meet them.  So I've decided to hang on to my goal of losing 1.5lbs every week – with the understanding that I will lose weight as my body sees fit.  And if I lose 20lbs by Christmas, wahoo!  If not, it's not like I'm packing it in and giving up!  But I can't keep getting disappointed when I don't make my goals – especially since I'm doing my job by exercising and eating right which is the most important thing anyhow.  My losses have been so interesting these days anyway……

The Truth About Cats and Dogs

Today is a "be honest with yourself" kind of day.  So here goes:  this weight loss experience really came about as the result of a broken heart and my desire to make some big changes in my life.  It now has morphed into so much more.  I'm happier, healthier and less angry at myself for being such an idiot and letting someone break my heart in the first place.  Now I'm talking about running 10k's and trying a duathalon, not some man who disappointed me more than I could ever verbalize. Okay, so I'm still set on some things which aren't very healthy.  For example, I am still way too set on seeing a specific number on the scale – however I'd like to think I will give myself a break if I find a number I am comfortable with.  Okay, last little tidbit of honesty for the day-- I admit that one of the biggest reasons I don't date is because I'm tired of being hurt by men who can't seem to deal with my weight.  And I still use my weight as an excuse to hide behind.  So, I have my little tortoise shell on protecting me…and I don't know that I'm quite ready to chuck it aside just yet.  Maybe someday.  And that concludes today's glimpse into my messed up psyche!

So that's all she wrote for today!  Off to PT again tonight.  Two workouts in one day.  Yes, yes….I know!

Keep it realz,

FGS

A Sunday Funny

Tee hee hee.... Check out these theories.

Times Like These

It has been a week filled with terror, dread and excessive amounts of candy! I’m glad that Halloween and all of its horrific temptations has once again been and gone. As for me? Well I successfully survived eating only 20 pieces or so of candy. Damned Bit o’ Honey! I bought all candy that I hate and opened one of the bags and there was an army of Bit o’ Honey mixed in with the horrid Sprees! But, I made it! And after a mental health recovery day on Friday I’m right as rain. The scale is headed in the right direction once again and I’m back to working out. The knee is still being a pain though I think I’ve got it somewhat sussed out. I need orthotics – but that isn’t going to happen any time soon so I’ve found a cheap alternative to get me through. I’ve also decided that I’m going to have to give up running until I can get an orthotic and have purchased some stuff so that I can start swimming again. As for the car drama – well I’m in denial. It is seemingly not leaking any fluid at this point so I’m just going to pretend that everything is fine! But hey, I'm now down 20.4 pounds since August so what do I have to complain about?

Americans and Parking

Okay, like I said, this blog is not going to be just about losing weight on my end of things – but also about being healthy. My newest pet peeve (coming in a close second to my pet peeve about skinny girls at the gym who do absolutely nothing) is when people pull into a parking lot, and drive down a row, see someone get into their car and then proceed to wait until that person leaves for their spot. Never mind that they just passed oodles of perfectly good, empty spots 30 feet behind them. Oh noooooooooooooo! They have to be close to the store. So they wait, and hold up traffic instead of just driving to the next row for the empty spot there. I mean really people! Would walking an extra 30 feet to get to Wal-Mart kill you? And if you haven’t been to Wal-Mart lately – 99% of their clientele could use that extra walk! Heck, statistically speaking, most Americans should be getting that extra walk in from their cars to the store!

Why Women Need to Stop Watching Romantic Movies

I am the ultimate hopeless romantic. I have watched the end scene of Pride and Prejudice a million times, could watch Love Actually a million times in succession and truly believe that somewhere out there, Mr. Darcy is waiting for me. But, I’m also a wee bit of a realist. After reading this blog about the unrealistic portrayal of men in romantic comedies, I realized that fantasizing over Mr. Darcy has only hurt my feeble attempts at love, not helped. Why should I hold a man to a standard that I wouldn’t want to be held to? I think about how angry I get when I look at fashion magazines and their unrealistic images of what the perfect woman should look like or be like. So I should know better than to apply this same sort of logic to a romantic partner. As much as I hate being judged for my looks and weight and all that jazz, I should know better than to do the same. But aren’t we brought up to hope for Prince Charming and settle for nothing less? Makes me wonder how many Prince Charmings I passed by whilst I was waiting for Prince Charming. Things that make you go hmmmmmmmmmm.

So those are my thoughts for this beautiful, sunny fall day. And now I'm off to Costco with roomie where we will most certainly park as far away from the front door as possible!

Hasta la proxima,

FGS